Sissy DBZ
by Saeger
Summary: Basically, just random boredom putting the infamous Saiyan Prince and everybody else in odd situations completely OOC off the scenes of the show. Slight hints at GokuVegeta towards end of ch.1, in slight jest. Might be more in future...
1. random sissy vegeta

A/N:: OK, I'm expecting a lot of flames from this one, if I get any reviews at all. I've gotten used to anonymity, and not being known by anyone other than friends... Oh well. I'm not trying to be self pitying. Just bored. This was basically boredom taking over one night, when I was supposed to be planning a fic with my sister. Totally off subject, and without much (if any) provocation. Completely OOC, and a few slight Goku/Vegeta hints in the last one. More might be on the way, but I may decide to pick on a few other series instead. You'll just hafta check on me... It would be in script format, but I can't write script to save my life. It's not exactly been fixed up or edited yet, but... The raw version would probably be better, if a little gramatically incorrect. Here comes the randomness of a Sissy Vegeta. Yippee.

* * *

RANDOM MOMENT 1 : saiyan prince revealed a scene where Picolo loses an arm on set   
  
Goku and Picolo are on set, ready for take 4 of the scene. Just before the set doors are locked for uninterruption, Vegeta walks in with a French Vanilla capuchino, taking his time getting situated. He takes a sip, and looks up just as the arm is... detached. The pointy haired man gags, and pales more than usual.

"Is- Is that blood?" Drops cup, and falls backwards in a faint. Entire cast rushes over and looms above the fallen 'prince'. Goku nudges him with a toe.

"Is he... Allright?"

Vegeta stirs, and smacks his lips. "I'm a pretty princess..." he muttered in a falsetto. "Yup. He's fine." They all go back to their places.

RANDOM MOMENT 2 : some privacy please backstage in Vegeta's dressing room   
  
Vegeta is fussing with something in front of his mirror. Without any warning, Goku barges in ranting about his latest tick (ChiChi's actually trying to get him to marry her off-set). He looks up at Vegeta, who turned to face him, and gapes. Vegeta's face is covered in make-up. WOMEN's make-up. Goku's eye starts to twitch.

"Vegeta...? What... uhm... Were you... uhhhh.... Doing?" Vegeta flushed and wiped his face furiously, ridding it of all but the mascara.

"None of your business! What were you doing in here anyway?!?" Goku finally starts laughing, and has to leave the room. Vegeta flushes even more as he hears Goku telling Picolo, and anyone else who'll listen, between fits of uncontrollable laughter.

"I'll never live this down..."

RANDOM MOMENT 3 : backseat border blues in a small car, on a road trip with Vegeta, Picolo, and Goku in the back   
  
Vegeta's stuck in the middle of the backseat, stuck between the other two guys. Bulma's driving, with ChiChi staring blindly at a map and shouting out what seem like random directions every few minutes, thus causing sharp turns, and the guys to be thrown onto one another since there's no room for seat belts.

"By the Kai's, woman, take it easy!" Picolo bellowed, shoving Vegeta off of him for the tenth time that day, and onto Goku.

"I love you too, honey, but not here!" Goku jokingly (supposedly) said, as Vegeta blushed and sat up.

"Bulma, they're picking on me!" the middle man complained in a whine. The car swerved around another turn, shoving Goku in Vegeta's lap, as the 'prince' had somehow managed to stay upright.

"Kiss me?" Goku grinned up at the man who's red face was above him. Picolo punched them both.

"You're not alone in the backseat, you two. Sit up."

"Owie! ChiChi, he hit me! And your boyfriend's hitting ON me!" Vegeta complained once again. The rest of the car sniggered, and he took to muttering to himself under his breath. Until the last wild swerve onto the interstate threw him completely into Goku's lap.

He whimpered.


	2. Picolo can try

A/N: Boredom's calling again. I'm not sure who to pick on this time around- I can't keep on annoying my favorite character. Maybe I'll just pick on everybody now, in turn. Sorry about the change in style- I ran out of random ideas, but I'll try to go back to original ASAP. If you like it, review. If you don't, review anyway. Reviews make me all warm and fuzzy inside. Any flames will at least help keep me warm... not so much fuzzy, though... U  
  
"Where's my armor? I need my armor for the next scene! KAKAROT! Did you steal it again?" the frustrated prince yelled through the thin dressing room doors. The accused man on the other side only laughed.  
  
"Why would I do that? The stuff smells anyway! What do you DO in it?"  
  
Vegeta flushed crimson. For the normal palidity of his skin, that was an achievement. "Nothing! Well, train and shoot scenes, but nothing more! Where is it, you eternal annoyance?!"  
  
"Iyohknow."  
  
Vegeta yelled something indeterminable, and stormed into the hallway yelling threats to whomever had stolen his precious fighting outfit. Picolo quickly tightened his grip on the concealing white cape around his shoulders. The Namek shifted uncomfortably and started edging his way to his door.  
  
The furious half clothed prince caught this movement and called the towering man on it. Blocking Picolo's way, hands on hips, Vegeta craned his neck to look up at the now blushing Namek.  
  
"Picolo...?" The tone of voice was that a mother uses when cornering a child in front of his handiwork, with tainted fingers. "What are you hiding under that thing?"  
  
The gruff voice stuttered, sputtering for words to get himself out of this mess. Finding none, he pouted and refused to open his cape, tightening the wrap around him. A funny reddish-green tint found it's way to his cheeks.  
  
"And I thought you were the only sensible one in this poor bunch of idiots! Open up. Now." The ticked off Saiyan stomped his foot to accent his last word. Picolo's eye started twitching as a crowd started to gather (a crowd consisting of Goku, Hercule, Tien, Chousu [??spelling??], Dende, and Gohan).  
  
Picolo gulped and let his cape drop open to how it normally hung, revealing the tight, too small Saiyan armor he'd somehow squeezed himself into. The entire room burst out laughing, excepting Vegeta and Picolo, who stood in silence. For a moment.  
  
Vegeta started yelling random threats and curses at the green man, who was blushing more and more furiously. The hall emptied, and Vegeta demanded his armor back. Picolo obliged, with a childish grin now appearing on his face.  
  
"I always wondered why Saiyans wore that stuff. It must be because of the reactions their father's had when they first tried it on- if you're any indication. That face was... memorable."  
  
Vegeta shoved him and stormed back to his room. He was gooing to be late now... 


	3. Needlephobic potty break

A/N: Ok, I'm making a statement. I'm going to rotate between this format and the last one. There are only two things this time, due to the length of #4. Sorry bou that. And sorry bout the wait, but I still haven't gotten any reviews on Ch.2. Didn't anybody like it? ::puppy face::  
  
For the records, i DON'T OWN DBZ, the characters therefrom, or Highlights magazine. Though my littlest sister still gets them, and its funny to look back and think that they used to actually be good reading... I still like the puzzles and hidden pictures...  
  
Enough of me blabbering on. To the ridiculousness!

* * *

RANDOM MOMENT 4: Needle-Phobia?!  
  
Our favorite Saiyan prince is going to the ::foreboding drumbeat sounds:: doctor! For his first Earth yearly check up. Goku is scheduled right after him, so our other resident Saiyan is in the waiting room, reading a Highlights for Kids magazine, giggling every few moments at the funny stories.  
  
Vegeta is sitting on the cold waiting table reading a video game strategy guide, trying to find out ways to finally beat Goku, if only in the video game world. He totally ignores the nurses, only glaring at them when they dare come to near. The doctor finall comes in, and despite Vegeta's warning glares, procedes to examine his eyes, ears and- unfortunately for him- reflexes.  
  
After picking himself up off the ground and putting the blood pressure machine back on it's hooks, he left telling Vegeta something about the nurse being back to deal with the shots. By this time Vegeta was absorbed in his guide again, so he didn't notice. Until the nurse walked in. Vegeta's cursory glance told him one thing.  
  
That. Woman. Has. NEEDLES!!!!  
  
He jumped up ontot he bench in the corner and squealed. "What are you going to do with those?!?!"  
  
"They're just regulatory vaccines, sir. Please calm down and return to the bench."  
  
"Not until you tell me where they're going!"  
  
The nurse sighed, measuring out a needle of meds. "In your right upper arm, sir. Unless you have a request...?"  
  
"I have a request! Put em up yours!!!!" The prince's face was pale, and he was edging away from the nurse, keeping his back to the wall.  
  
"Oh, you're being worse than a three year old! Calm down. It won't hurt."  
  
"Don't you tell me 'It won't hurt!'! I've seen People stabbed with needles smaller than that thing, and they were yelling like I'd punched 'em! You stay there, woman! KAKKAROT!!!!"  
  
The nurse made her way towards Vegeta, and he kept edging. She made a dash, and he jumped away. This evolved into what appeared to be a game of tag, with Vegeta running in circles, hands stretched in front of him, near tears. "KAKKAROT!!!!"  
  
The tables got turned over, the various instuments on the wall got knocked off, and the counter was soon to be disturbed. Vegeta clambored onto it, breaking or upsetting everything there. The nurse was panting by now, and gave him a look that could've killed.  
  
"You're not sticking me with that-"  
  
The nurse lunged, and sank the needle into his arm. A girlish scream seared through the building, and a few minutes later Vegeta went running out of the hospital, still screaming. Goku looked nervously after his friend.  
  
"Son Goku? The doctor is waiting."

* * *

RANDOM MOMENT 5: Potty Break.  
  
Bulma and a young Trunks were watching Vegeta and Goku choreograph one of the fighting scenes, Vegeta whining about every little scratch, and Goku afraid to hit him for fear of hurting the poor guy, still sore from his trip to the doctor.  
  
They finally got the idea down, and the set doors were locked. Trunks pulled on his Mom's shirt. "Mom, I-"  
  
"Shh, Trunks, they're recording!"  
  
"But Mom, I-"  
  
"Hush!"  
  
"I gotta _pee_!"  
  
Bulma's eyes widened, and she blushed. "Oh. Well, come on then." She took his hand and started towards the exit.  
  
"You can't leave, they're recording." A bulky man in front of the door said. By now, Trunks was doing the Potty dance- biting his lip, legs turned inwards, bouncing up and down.  
  
"My son has to use the restroom! We need to get out."  
  
"You'll have to wait until the director cuts. We can't open the doors while they're filming."  
  
"You don't _understand_-"  
  
"Ma'am, we get this all the time. You can't leave. Wait a few moments, until they're done with the scene."  
  
"Fine. Come on, Trunks." Bulma proceded to drag her son towards the other exit. There shouldn't be a guard there...  
  
There was.  
  
"You can't leave yet." he informed them.  
  
Trunks lifted his leg, trying to hold it in. His face was scrunched, eyeballs floating, looking like his lip was about to come off. The Pottyhop.  
  
"But my son desperately needs to use the restroom! Can't you make an exception this one time?!"  
  
The guard shook his head, crossing his arms stubbornly. Trunks was on the floor, rocking back and forth.  
  
"COME ON!!! IF WE'RE NOT ALLOWED OUT OF HERE WHILE THEY'RE SHOOTING, THEY SHOULD AT LEAST INSTALL A BATHROOM WITHIN REACH!!!!!!!!!!!" Bulma statred yelling. The director heard, and called a cut.  
  
"That woman's infernal yelling is messing up our scene! Get her out of HERE!!!!"  
  
The guard happily obliged, and threw Bulma out. The scene continued rolling.  
  
Trunks continued his frantic hopping around, stll inside. 


End file.
